New Baby - Renewed Love Life, New Friends, Closer Family Ties?

Is Motherhood a Catalyst for Relationships?

LONDON, October 19, 2010 - Most couples grow closer after having a baby, the results of a new poll
reveal today. Despite many (68%) finding motherhood much harder work than
they imagined, eight out of ten mums agreed that their relationship with
their partner had been strengthened by the experience. Family ties also
strengthen yet friendships evolve and move on, the survey shows.

The Aptamil 21st Century Mum survey polled over 4,200 mums and
mums-to-be, and its findings suggest that motherhood could be the catalyst to
strengthen and evolve a woman's social network and relationships.

Dr Ellie Lee, a senior lecturer in social policy at the University of
Kent and expert in parenting culture, comments: "Given that parenthood often
comes with a 'health warning' about the new stresses and strains it brings
for mums, dads and their relationship with each other, it is striking that
many mums report that having children has created a new closeness to others."

The survey suggests that having a baby brings families closer together
too. Almost two thirds (62%) of mums say they were supported by their own
mums in those busy first few weeks. Half (49%) also reported that they relied
on other family members (such as sisters) for support. "Family relationships
are stronger as we have a huge common interest - my son," reports one survey
respondent.

Christine Northam from Relate, the UK's largest provider of relationship
support, said: "Having a baby can be a wonderful experience for a family, we
often see couples whose relationship has flourished because of a new arrival.
Family ties strengthen and close family members can be re-discovered. That
said, tough times will arise when bringing up children, but it's important to
remember that if couples work together they increase the chances of having a
happier family."

The experience of motherhood seems to have a negative impact on the
survival of old friendships. According to the survey one in ten (13%) mums
say they never see their friends because of how different their lives now are
and many mums, almost a third (32%), reported that their best support came
from new friends with babies.

"The idea that social networks change when people become parents these
days seems to be confirmed by this survey," explains Dr Lee. "Pre-motherhood
friendships diminish in their importance and friendship seems to become more
organised around other mums with kids. Some mothers leave behind their
"pre-mummy" friends in favour of "mummy" friends," she adds.

"What is also interesting is mums' view of themselves, as motherhood
appears to give life new meaning." The survey reveals that the majority (63%)
report that they now see themselves as a whole person now and that something
was missing before.

Dr Lee concludes: "It is clear from the survey that women are not blind
to the challenges of motherhood, but they do feel that parenthood has shaped
and influenced their relationships in an important way, notably with their
partners. It also seems to influence and enhance their interactions with, and
perceptions of, the wider society."

Aptamil would like to know how YOU feel about being a mum in the 21st
century. Go to aptamil.co.uk/21mum where you can chat to other mums in the
forum - has motherhood changed you beyond recognition, are you a happier,
more complete person or do you feel that you can balance your old life and
new experiences well? - are just some of the topics you will find there for
discussion. Read more about the survey results and Dr Lee's insights here
too.

Case studies, interviews with Dr Ellie Lee and full survey data are
available on request.

    Notes to editors:

    - The Aptamil 21st Century Mum survey was carried out with askamum.co.uk
      to reveal readers' experiences and expectations of motherhood today

    - 4,285 women took part in the survey, including 3,503 mothers and 782
      women who were pregnant for the first time

    Additional survey statistics:

    - The majority (85%) of mums agreed that having a baby made them feel
      'complete'

    - 91% of mums surveyed agreed that having a baby made them feel part of a
      family, not just a couple

    - While health visitors and midwives were a source of support for 71%,
      under half (47%) felt the same way about NCT/NHS antenatal groups

    - Dr Ellie Lee is senior lecturer in social policy at the University of
      Kent. She researches and teaches about the sociology of reproduction
      and family planning, motherhood and fatherhood, and health and social
      policy

    - Breastfeeding is best for babies. Breast milk provides babies with the
      best source of nourishment. Infant formula milk and follow on milks are
      intended to be used when babies cannot be breastfed. The decision to
      discontinue breastfeeding may be difficult to reverse and the
      introduction of partial bottle-feeding may reduce breast milk supply.
      The financial benefits of breastfeeding should be considered before
      bottle-feeding is initiated. Failure to follow preparation instructions
      carefully may be harmful to a baby's health. Infant formula and follow
      on milks should be used only on the advice of a healthcare professional

    - Leading infant nutrition experts Aptamil produce a range of baby milks
      and foods for babies and toddlers as well as providing advice and
      support for parents.

For further information, please contact: Jan Petherick/Seán Carroll/Rose Segal at Say Communications, Tel: +44(0)20-8971-6400, Email: jpetherick at saycomms.co.uk; scarroll at saycomms.co.uk; rsegal at saycomms.co.uk